Hollywood Looks a Lot Like Heaven
by Audi Vide Tace
Summary: Natalie and Jonah. Oneshot. For Iris Cornelia Jade's Pairings to Die For contest. Rated T for swearing.


**For Iris Cornelia Jade's Pairings to Die For contest.**

No, Natalie," Ian sighed. "You can't have it. I'm sorry. But I could barely pay the airplane fee to get to Los Angeles. A Valentino red is completely out of the question."

Natalie exhaled sharply. She hated being poor—rather, she hated her new middle-class status. "Is there any way I could get it?"

"If you find a way to earn thirty thousand dollars before tonight, then it's all yours."

Ian turned back to his computer. He was doing his book of accounts on his laptop. Natalie noticed the dark shadows under his eyes, almost like bruises. The kid was sixteen. Much too young to be as overworked as a London Stock Exchange trader.

"You could wear the Dolce and Gabbana that you got last month."

"Ew!" Natalie resisted the urge to stamp her foot. "That's from the resort collection. As in, summertime. It's the middle of November."

"Then I can't help you," he typed something in to the spreadsheet. "But a major deal is about to go through. Once it does, I'll buy you two Valentinos."

"I need something to wear to the premiere," Natalie flung herself onto the velvet fleur-de-lis couch, directly across from her brother.

She stared at the ugly oil painting on the opposite wall. It was a large hotel room, spacious and airy. Isabel's sister had put them up in the penthouse suite, but she wanted nothing to do with them. And she sure as hell wouldn't buy Natalie a silky red dress, cut on the bias with cross-halter straps and the perfect, mermaid-tail bottom…

"Ask Aunt Ella to borrow something."

"No. She has awful taste, and besides, she hates me. I might as well just not go!"

"Natalie, be quiet. You're going. Mum said we had to, she said the other Lucians might be there. You'll find something to wear."

Natalie was silent, drumming her fingers on the lacquered coffee table. She glance out the window—the cerulean Pacific stretched in the distance, the beautiful scene was marred slightly by the ugly puce curtains draped around the frame. This was Los Angeles… who did they know in Los Angeles…

Then it hit her. She grabbed Ian's phone off the table, scrolled through the contacts, selected one, transferred the data to her cell phone, and then clicked the green 'send' button.

It rang once, then he picked up.

"Bitch, whassup?"

Natalie coughed, a small sound that, embarrassingly, filled the phone lines. Then she began. "Hello, Jonah. This is Natalie Kabra."

"Yeah, I knew that. 'Sup?"

"Well, my brother and I are in town, and I was wondering…"

"You wanna go to the awards show with me."

Yes! "Pardon," Natalie said, her voice spiked with faux innocence.

"My ex-girlfriend Carmen was hooking up with another brotha' so I dumped her chola ass. And my label says I need a date."

"Weeelll," Natalie pretended to deliberate over the proposition. If she agreed too quickly, he would know something was up.

"And you're okay looking, I guess."

Natalie smiled. "Well, Jonah I'd love to, but I just had to cancel," she sniffed, as if she was about to cry, "all my credit cards," she said, thinking on her feet. "My identity was stolen by someone in bloody Wisconsin, can you believe that? So I haven't got enough money to buy a new dress."

"No big. Put whatever on my tab at Bergdorf Goodman."

Yes! "Well, thanks, Jonah. That's really nice of you."

"Be ready at eight. Wizard out," he hung up.

Natalie grinned, and grabbed her big empty purse. "Bye, Ian," she waved.

Ian looked up from the Excel spreadsheet on his laptop. "Where are you going?"

"Out!"

**PAGE BREAK**

Aaaah. This was living. This was what life was about.

Natalie walked down the esplanade, two white shopping bags in hand, 500 dollar Gucci sunglasses shading her eyes. Her dark hair had just been painted with black highlights, and curled to perfection.

She checked the shopping bag, and, sure enough, the beautiful red dress was nestled in the bottom. She checked the other bag, and a pair of brand-new Louboutin 'Murderess' heels lay next to a black jewelry box.

The potent combination of leather from the shoes, perfume from the dress, and sea-salt from the air made her feel light headed.

She walked into the lobby, clambered in the elevator, and rode it up to the top floor.

Natalie unlocked the door with a single swipe of her keycard, and walked into the foyer. Guess who hadn't moved an inch since she last saw him.

She tossed a pillow at Ian's head, yelling, "get up! Get dressed! I'm leaving in thirty minutes!"

Ian checked his watch, "bloody hell," he stood up, closing his computer quickly. He stepped quickly across the cream-colored carpet, then slammed the adjacent door.

Natalie ran into the connecting room, pulled the red dress out of the bag, and smiled. It was so beautiful, so… luxurious. She'd always been one for luxury, but lately she hadn't had any time for lavishness.

She slid it over her head, savoring the kiss of silk on her skin.

She fastened the Louboutins around her ankles and peered in the mirror on the other side of the room.

Then Natalie winced, and went to work. Thick black eyeliner, mascara, red lipstick, she piled her curls in a chignon with a faux-diamond pin. Better, but not perfect.

She opened the black jewelery box, and held up a silver armlet, shaped like, what else? A snake. The rubies in the serpent's eyes glittered. She pulled it up her arm until it wrapped around her upper arm, then twisted it so the snake's head faced out.

**PAGE BREAK**

"You don't look hideous, congratulations," Jonah offered his arm.

"Thank you," Natalie nodded, gracious as ever. She took his arm, and he led her into the theater.

Natalie's eyes began to water. The flashes of light from millions of cameras temporarily blinded her, but she felt Jonah's hand on her arm, steadying her.

They walked down the red carpet to a woman with a huge microphone who was being followed by three men with cameras.

"Jonah! Jonah Wizard!" the woman screamed, waving to get his attention.

Jonah jutted his chin in the woman's direction, and then muttered to Natalie, "don't say anything. Just stand there and look hot."

Natalie was about to retort, indignant, but then she rolled her eyes, and followed him.

"Jonah," the woman said, warmly, "tell me, do you think your latest film will be a box-office hit?"

He nodded, "Yeah, it will. It has something for everyone—romance, adventure, horror."

Natalie stared off at the crowd while they conversed, not paying attention until Jonah said, "yeah, this is my girlfriend, Natalie Kabra. That's K-A-B-R-A."

Natalie perked up, and smiled at the interviewer.

But then Jonah's grasp tightened on her arm, and Natalie peered in the direction of his gaze.

A very pretty, very tall girl with long streaky golden hair was walking toward them, a sardonic smile on her face. She wore a tiny, strapless white dress and long gold earrings. She was one of those girls who seemed to light up a room—all the other beautiful and famous people paled in comparison.

"Oh my gosh. That's Carmen Marini!"

_Ah, that Carmen. Jonah's ex_. Natalie thought.

Jonah slid his arm out from under hers, and disappeared as the crowd swelled around him.

The reporter looked annoyed, then turned to Natalie. "So, Natalie Kabra, right?"

"Yes."

"Tell me about your relationship with Jonah."

"Well," Natalie hesitated. She didn't want to say the wrong thing. "We've been good friends for a while," she lied. "But we just began dating."

"And you're… British?"

"From London, yes."

"Thankyousomuchforyourtime," the reporter rushed off.

Natalie craned her neck, and looked for Jonah in the crowd, she pushed her way past dozens of movie stars and supermodels.

Then finally, she found him, standing off to the side of a crowd, just watching the beautiful girl—Carmen—talk to some man who looked like he was at least twenty-five.

Natalie put her hand on his arm. "Come on Jonah. You deserve better."

He rolled his eyes. "You don't get it."

"She's not even that pretty," she lied.

"That's a lie."

"Come on," she tugged on the sleeve of his suit. "You can do so much better." She leaned against the wall beside him, putting her small clutch purse on the granite table beside them.

"I guess so," Jonah tugged a leaf off the potted fern on the table.

"You know," she poked him in the side, "we could key her car."

"Slash her tires," he dragged his eyes from Carmen's retreating figure to gaze into Natalie's.

"Break her windows."

"Push her car into the ocean," and finally, he smiled.

"See? You'll be fine."

"Thanks," he wrapped one arm around her waist, and the couple strolled into the premiere.

**Short and sweet. I tried to make it not too fluffy or squicky (Jonah **_**is **_**a fair bit older than Natalie, haha). Yeah, so, my first attempt at a crack!ship. Review please!**

** Thanks so much to Cascading Rainbows (Joyce) for beta-ing!**


End file.
